Respect Is a Two Way Street: Why Listening Matters in a Free Society

Picture from Christlifemin.org

America, our great nation, was founded on the beliefs of freedom, liberty and equal opportunity for every man. Respect which is integral to the “American experience” should never be conditional. Yet for many Americans, especially Black Americans, respect seldom comes without strings attached. Some feel they are required to speak a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way. Many of this could be framed as “professionalism,” there’s a deeper question underneath. Are we truly treating one another as equals, or are we quietly asking some people to assimilate in order to be deemed acceptable.

Viewing this from all perspectives, It’s easy to overlook how minute comments can sometimes begin to chip away at someone’s general sense of dignity. This can be done by way of jokes about someone’s “proper” speech or comments like “you’re so articulate” it’s understandable that these may sound like compliments and more often than not are well meaning. But to the receiving party hearing them, they can come across as reminders that they’re seen as an exception, never the norm. These words, whether intentional or not, send the message that presenting as truly and authentically oneself isn’t quite good enough. We are reminded by congressmen Mike Johnson in his article about the 7 core principles of conservatism that our country was founded on the freedoms of equality, as Johnson states “ In America, we proclaim the self-evident truths that all of us are created equal and granted by God the same inherent freedoms, such as the natural and unalienable rights to life, liberty, conscience-“ further bolstering the point that this respect, this consideration is the very basis of the foundation of our America.

Many Black Americans feel pressure to take time to alter how they speak, dress, and or carry themselves in order to feel they are being taken seriously. This goes beyond just fitting in. It’s about being allowed a fair and equal shot in spaces such as classrooms, offices, and boardrooms. As congressman Mike Johnson states “- all men are created equal and in the image of God, every human life has inestimable dignity and value, and every person should be measured only by the content of their character” supporting the idea that race, and presentation of oneself as other than who they are or being asked to show up inauthentically and made to alter your person is wrong. Some will dismiss this as being overly sensitive, but if we turn to scripture we’ll see it teaches us otherwise. Proverbs 18:21 gently reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” further proving that our words matter. They either uplift or they tear down and the choice between the two is ours.

The principle here isn’t political. Rather it’s moral. This is about human decency. It’s about treating others the way we would want to be treated, just as Jesus taught in Matthew 7:12: “Do to others what you would have them do to you.” That applies not just to not only how we conduct ourselves, but to how we speak and how we listen.

Picture from Outreachmagazine.com

A topic that is frequently discussed here in America is free speech, and rightly so. But in a society that is truly free, speech should also be of reason. What this does not mean is to allow for the censorship of people in any way shape or form. Simply put it means allowing for the encouragement of people to speak and do so with purpose, care, and respect that all individuals are intrinsically worthy of. Ephesians 4:29 says it plainly: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.” This is a standard set biblically that we as people should all strive for.

This is by no means an effort to call anyone out. Rather it’s about calling each other in, and doing so with the belief of a higher standard of mutual respect and shared humanity. The more we ignore how others feel in the name of building their resilience the more we risk turning our backs on the very values we as a country claim to uphold: fairness, personal integrity, and Christian love for all mankind.

As opposed to requesting others alter themselves to a smaller less truthful version of who they are, let us as people be the kind of individuals who hold space for everyone to not only be seen but to be heard, and respected as well. This is not just a hallmark of good manners. This is the American way. And more importantly, it’s the Christian one.

WRIT-102 part 2

When Parenting Crosses the Line: The Real Damage of Parental Bullying

Home is supposed to be the one place kids can actually breathe. But for some, it's just another battleground—one filled with criticism, humiliation, and emotional beatdowns. And a lot of the time, it’s coming from the people who are supposed to love them most. Parents might think they’re just being “strict,” but there’s a massive difference between setting boundaries and straight-up bullying your own kid.

Parental bullying isn’t about enforcing rules; it’s emotional abuse dressed up as discipline. It can be subtle, normalized, and easy to miss from the outside. But the damage runs deep. A 2020 study by Jeong et al. in BMC Psychiatry found that negative parenting—like constant verbal attacks and rejection—is heavily linked to higher rates of depression and anxiety in teens. Turns out, years of being torn down by the people who are supposed to have your back doesn’t exactly set you up for a happy life.

You won’t see bruises, but the trauma is real. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, emotionally abusive parenting (stuff like shaming, yelling, or public humiliation) actually messes with brain development and the body’s ability to handle stress. So while it might look like just another strict household from the outside, inside it can feel like emotional quicksand.

Here’s the thing: being strict isn’t the problem. It’s how it's done. Good, firm parenting still leaves room for trust, empathy, and actual communication. Diana Baumrind nailed it back in 1966 when she described authoritative parenting—where rules come with a side of warmth and respect. That kind of structure helps kids grow strong instead of shrinking under pressure.

When discipline turns into domination, though, it’s no longer parenting—it’s bullying. And kids who grow up like this don’t just "get over it." As studies from Jeong et al. and the AAP point out, they often carry scars into adulthood—low self-esteem, anxiety, broken relationships. Recognizing the difference between guidance and control isn’t just important; it can literally change a kid’s life.

Suppressing the Bullies

Practice While Young

Making fun of someone was considered a joke for a very long time. A chuckle. A harmless little jab to the face. Being the target of a "joke" never feels innocent when you're the one experiencing it, let's face it. Bullying has become more harmful, more frequent, and far more damaging, whether it takes place in the darkest recesses of social media, business Slack groups, or school halls. Most of us have experienced it. Everyone laughs when someone says something "funny" about you, and you might even make yourself laugh. But it hurts in the end. It also lingers occasionally. 

This goes beyond growing pains and childhood turmoil. Bullying is a profoundly systemic problem. Under the pretext of "kids being kids" or "just office banter," it is psychological warfare. When the culture around you encourages you to ignore it and go on, it causes emotional scars that don't go away with age.

Let's dissect it. Bullying isn't necessarily physical or noisy. Indeed, the most overt kind of bullying is physical such as shoving, striking, the typical playground behavior. However, verbal abuse such as name-calling, persistent mockery, and threats disguised as sarcasm—hits just as hard. Then there is the social kind, in which someone is isolated by manipulation, exclusion, or hearsay. Additionally, cyberbullying adds a round-the-clock element of harassment in the internet age, which may follow you home and even into your bed at night.

Trying to Prevent Bullying

Consider it to be merely words? Rethink your thoughts. It’s more than just someone's feelings being harmed by these attacks. They undermine your identity, undermine your sense of self-worth, frequently result in suicidal thoughts, sadness, and social anxiety. Research from McLean Hospital at Mass General Brigham indicates that bullying has major long-term effects on mental health. It’s not just a few bad days, but actual trauma is what we're talking about.

Sometimes the child who is insulting you is also in pain. Perhaps an older brother teases them, or they've been persuaded to believe that power comes from dismantling others. Understanding the cycle is more important than justifying their behavior. Bullies frequently act out of unresolved sorrow. 

Let's face it, bullying isn't truly stopped in many companies and institutions. They do a lousy job of managing it. The system convinces children that speaking up is "tattling," even if teachers may be aware of what is happening. When does someone actually say something? Frequently, there are no actual repercussions. Someone is slapped on the wrist, if they're lucky.

It's a common misconception that anti-bullying laws make people softer. that children should be taught how to deal with difficult circumstances. Bullying, however, is not a challenging conversation or helpful criticism. It's deliberate abuse. Repeated assaults are meant to weaken, not to strengthen, a target.

By far the most important factor in reducing bullying is empathy. It's a straightforward idea that we seem to be losing our grasp of. According to studies, people's empathy has decreased by 40% in the last two generations, according to psychologist Jamie D. Aten. In a society where relationships are crucial and cruelty spreads more quickly than kindness, that is a concerning statistic.

 We must make investments in mental health support for both victims and aggressors if we hope to end that pattern. Peer groups, school therapists, and counseling are not extravagances; they are essentials. Safe spaces where people can process their trauma and learn how to manage their emotions without harming others should be provided by businesses and schools.

We require policies that have real purpose. This entails providing a clear definition of bullying, facilitating safe and simple reporting, and emphasizing restorative justice—think peer mediation, therapy, and community service rather than merely suspension or expulsion.

 Resilience doesn’t come from being tormented. It comes from empathy, support, and learning how to process hardship in healthy ways. If your idea of “toughening someone up” is letting them suffer in silence, that’s not strength—it’s neglect.

 Pain is genuine if you've ever watched someone cry over a harsh post they saw online or experienced that knot in your throat after being shunned by your peers. And it's that pure reality that has the power to inspire action. to express one's opinions. should cease dismissing bullying as "not my problem.”

• Name the problem. Talk about it. Recognize bullying in all its forms.

• Support mental health. Don’t just punish. Heal.

• Train educators and leaders. They can’t stop what they don’t understand.

• Empower kids and communities. Let students lead initiatives. Encourage bystander intervention.

• Enforce real policies. Not vague statements. Concrete actions.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but if we can shift from cruelty to compassion, from silence to action, we’ll get somewhere. People deserve to feel safe in classrooms, offices, and online. That’s not softness. That’s basic humanity.

Police Deception

ELON

In the United States, it is completely legal for police officers to lie to people during interrogations. This is not a rumor or a conspiracy theory. It is a rule supported by the Supreme Court in the 1969 case Frazier V. Cupp. Police are allowed to say things like “we found your fingerprints” or “your friend already confessed,” even if those things are completely false. This practice may seem like a useful tool to get suspects to tell the truth, but in reality, it often causes serious harm. Lying during interrogations leads to false confessions, damages trust in law enforcement, and puts innocent people at risk.

Most people do not expect police officers to lie, especially not in such high-stakes situations. Interrogations are serious, and many people assume that police must follow strict rules when questioning someone. But research shows that deception during interrogations can have dangerous results. According to a study by Julia Kerr, lies told by police can make people feel scared, confused, and overwhelmed. This is especially true for young people, people with intellectual disabilities, or individuals who do not fully understand their rights. In these situations, some suspects may confess to crimes they did not commit just to end the stressful experience.

False confessions are not rare, and they are not small mistakes. In many cases, innocent people have spent years, or even decades, in prison because they were wrongly convicted after giving a false confession. Some of these individuals were pressured or tricked into saying they were guilty. The Innocence Project, a group that helps free wrongly convicted people, has shared many real stories where police deception played a major role in getting false confessions. These are not just isolated incidents, they show a clear pattern that needs to be addressed.

When someone is locked up for a crime they did not commit, there is more at stake than just that one person’s life. False confessions also mean the real criminal is still out there, which puts the public at risk. In trying to solve one case, the justice system may fail in its larger mission. Keeping communities safe. When police use dishonest tactics, they not only hurt individuals but also weaken the system as a whole.

Lying during interrogations also damages trust in law enforcement. When people find out that police are allowed to lie, they begin to wonder what else officers might do behind closed doors. This kind of doubt spreads quickly, especially in communities that already have tense relationships with the police. According to the Cato Institute, public trust in law enforcement has declined in recent years, and deceptive tactics are part of the reason. If people do not trust the police, they are less likely to report crimes, serve on juries, or cooperate with investigations. The justice system cannot work properly without public support, and trust is not easy to rebuild once it is broken.

Some people believe that police need to lie to catch criminals. They argue that deception is just one tool used to pressure guilty people into telling the truth. This idea is often supported by crime shows and movies, where detectives trick suspects and everything works out in the end. But real life is very different. Studies have shown that these tactics often lead to false confessions, not real ones. If lying were truly effective, we would not see so many innocent people going to prison. And if the public starts to believe that police are more interested in getting confessions than in getting the truth, trust in the whole system breaks down.

There are better ways to conduct interrogations that do not involve lying. In countries like Germany and the United Kingdom, police are not allowed to use deception during questioning. Yet these countries still solve crimes and maintain public safety. Their success shows that lying is not necessary to do good police work. These countries train their officers in respectful and evidence based methods of interviewing suspects. If other nations can uphold justice without relying on deception, so can the United States.

Even in the U.S., some states are starting to take action. For example, Illinois passed a law banning police from lying to minors during interrogations. This change was made because minors are especially likely to fall for lies and give false confessions. It is a step in the right direction, but there is much more work to do. All states should consider similar laws, and national standards should be discussed. No one should be tricked into saying something that could ruin their life.

Police officers have a difficult and important job. They need strong tools, proper training, and public support to do their work well. But lying should not be one of those tools. Honesty builds trust, and trust is essential for safe and effective policing. There are many other ways to question suspects that are fair and respectful, such as using open-ended questions, recording interrogations, and providing legal education. These methods reduce errors and improve outcomes.

In the end, allowing police officers to lie during interrogations may seem like a shortcut to justice, but it actually leads to injustice. It causes innocent people to suffer, creates doubt in entire communities, and weakens the bond between law enforcement and the public. If we want a fairer and more trustworthy justice system, we must demand honest and transparent policing. That starts by ending the use of deception in the interrogation room.

Non-Inclusion Within Developmental Basketball

   

  Don't you just sometimes hate your coach. The coach may tell you that if you keep it up, you will get more playing time, only for him to forget about telling it to you. I had an experience with my coach making up his mind about a kid at tryouts. Basically, he ran the kid, who was a little bigger than most, until he blacked out. Something needs to be changed about these coaches thinking they can just get away with whatever they want, all since it is developmental basketball.

    Coaches may have coached at different levels, so their mentality of playing only the best kids, may stick with them going into a different level. Playing the best players may win you the most games, but in middle school level basketball, or even younger, it should be more centered towards developing everyone's skill. If coaches only focus on the best currently at the sport, then no one else will have a chance to get better.

     Brian McCormick wrote an article called "Winning Vs Player Development" which brings up the discussion about, when should sports be considered competitive. Personally, I believe actual competition begins at varsity level, but kids playing may think it begins right away. There truly is no right and wrong answer to the question. 

    Coaches may feel obligated to play their nieces, nephews, and other family members / friends just because they want to please the ones they know. By playing only the ones they know, the other players on the team won't get time to play and get better. 

    Stephen Borelli wrote an article about favoritism and how it can affect some players. There was one instance where someone deserved an award, but instead the president of the league's kid won. I had an instance during basketball where the league owner was able to put his kid onto whatever team he felt like just because.

    You may feel that your coach doesn't fully know what he is doing. This could be due to inexperience. No coach is perfect when they first start, which is true for most jobs. Inexperience could lead to wrong plays called, loses, and unhappiness within the team. 

    Jonathan Brandin wrote about how inexperience coaches have effects on young athletes. Some topics he discussed were lack of preparation for the real world and workforce, mental health issues, and physical consequences. All of these topics are real issues in today's society among students.

    Some people may say things like, winning makes people happy, or the best players on the team are the coach's' kids, or even inexperience doesn't matter in developmental basketball. While this may be true for parents, the kids need to improve, which is why it is called developmental sports. The only way for kids to improve is by practicing and having coaches that don't care about these things, could overall lead to bad habits and possibly quitting the sport.

    Overall, if we get coaches who care about developing the players, rather than just getting a paycheck, than players will feel happier and willing to put in the work to become better. Doing this can revive the feeling of school sports being the big thing in school.

Verbal Harassment at Work Is More Common Than You Would Think - And It's Screwing People Over

Words hurt no matter what you say

If you've ever worked a 9-to-5 job, there's a decent chance you've witnessed it; a manager yelling at someone until they're practically shrinking into their swivel chair. Maybe it was that co-worker who was making so-called “jokes” when HR isn't around. It’s called harassment. Whether people want to admit it or not, it’s way more common than most workplaces would ever acknowledge.

Verbal harassment isn’t just a bad mood or a tough day at the office. It’s a sustained pattern of disrespect. Yelling, name-calling, racist or sexist “jokes,” degrading comments, or just constant, nitpicking all contributes to harassment. It doesn’t always leave bruises but it can crush someone’s confidence, wear down their mental health, and push them out of a job they once called their “second home”.

Plenty of people still like to downplay it. They may call it “a disagreement,” or “just a personality clash.” That framing lets harassment off the hook. When someone’s work environment becomes a toxic, anxiety-inducing hellscape because of another person’s words, that’s not a clash, it’s a problem.

Here’s the hard truth: verbal harassment doesn’t just “hurt feelings.” It can disrupt workflows, cause burnouts, increase turnovers, and sometimes drag companies into legal messes. It’s expensive, demoralizing, and completely preventable if businesses care enough to act.

Workplace harassment doesn’t care if you work at a Fortune 500 company or a two-person start-up. They don't care if you’re remote, hybrid, or clocking in at a warehouse. It can happen anywhere and often does. According to data from EverFi, 66% of U.S. employees said they’d witnessed or experienced
workplace incivility in just the past month. Over half said they’d seen it in the past week. That’s not a blip; it’s a pattern.

The consequences go way beyond uncomfortable Zoom calls or awkward silences at the water cooler. This stuff messes with people’s mental health; anxiety, depression, insomnia, and low self-esteem. In the worst cases, it drives employees out, especially those already vulnerable to discrimination due to their race, gender identity, age, or religion. It also destroys morale and team cohesion. If you think it’s just “talk,” think again. These words have weight, especially when they’re weaponized.

So, what’s being done about it? Not enough.

Many companies treat harassment prevention as a box to check. A boring slideshow. A one-off “training” session filled with vague buzzwords. But that doesn’t teach anyone anything, especially not how to deal with the messy, everyday reality of harassment.

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) laid out five basic principles that can move the needle: committed leadership, real accountability, strong and clear policies, safe reporting channels, and regular, interactive training. Emphasis on interactive. Employees need to see scenarios, talk them through, and ask questions, not just click “Next” on a dull compliance module.

There are so many different types of harassment within the workplace that can occur.

A good workplace doesn’t just react to harassment. It makes it harder for harassment to survive in the first place. That means creating an environment where respect is the default, where people feel safe speaking up, and where HR is more than just a scary acronym people avoid.

When does harassment happen? There need to be actual consequences. Many workplaces claim to have a “zero-tolerance” policy, but if no one enforces it, it’s just empty PR. If someone gets away with repeated verbal abuse because they’re high-performing or “just like that,” the message is clear: results matter more than respect. That’s when people stop reporting. That’s when the culture rots.

Let’s also not ignore the bystanders. If you see harassment going down, say something, even if it’s not directed at you. Victims often don’t report because they’re scared. Scared of retaliation. Scared of losing their job. Scared no one will believe them. But when someone else steps up, it can shift the dynamic entirely. If you’re unsure what to do, at least flag it to HR or someone in leadership. Silence, especially in these moments, helps no one.

At the bare minimum, every company should have a clear reporting process, regular training sessions that don’t suck, and leaders who model the right behavior. Employees shouldn’t have to guess if a comment crossed the line, the line should be clearly defined.

It also wouldn’t hurt for workplaces to chill with the whole “suck it up” culture. Empathy isn’t weakness. Inclusion isn’t optional. If someone’s telling you their work environment is toxic, believe them the first time. There’s power in creating a culture where people feel seen, heard, and safe. They shouldn't feel like they are a poster hanging in the break room.

To wrap it all up: if you’re experiencing verbal harassment at work, talk to HR. Document what’s happening. If HR’s a dead end, investigate external support or legal resources. No one should have to suffer in silence just to collect a paycheck. For employers, start treating harassment like the serious issue it is. Build a culture of accountability. Listen when people speak up. Train your staff like it matters.

At the end of the day, a healthy workplace isn’t just good ethics, it’s good business. A team that feels safe, valued, and respected will always outperform one that’s walking on eggshells. Stop ignoring the words that hurt. They’re doing more damage than you think. 

                                                                                Workplace Harassment is unacceptable and should be stopped

“The Customer Is Always Right”? That Lie Is Killing American Decency

Imagine clocking in knowing there’s a 60% chance someone will scream at you—for doing your job. That’s not just a bad day. That’s a national embarrassment.

Verbal abuse is a daily reality for frontline workers across America.

From the barista making your coffee to the janitor cleaning your school, America’s workers are the backbone of this country. They show up early, stay late, and do the hard jobs most people take for granted. And yet, they’re treated like they don’t matter.

Why? Because somewhere along the line, we decided money buys the right to be cruel. A $4 coffee now comes with an attitude. A minimum-wage paycheck apparently comes with a side of humiliation.

This isn’t about one bad customer. This is a culture that says, “If you serve me, I own you.” That’s not free enterprise — that’s entitlement. And it’s eating away at our national character.

Service workers face low pay, unstable hours, and constant disrespect. They’re expected to smile while being berated. Calmly take insults while handing over receipts. And if they speak up? They risk losing their job just for having self-respect.

And we wonder why turnover is sky-high, burnout is rampant, and morale is in the basement.

Let’s talk about that toxic little phrase: “The customer is always right.” Right to scream? Right to degrade? Right to treat someone like garbage because you’re stressed? That phrase has gone from outdated to dangerous. It’s become a permission slip for abuse.

It’s also built on a lie. A healthy business doesn’t need customers who mistreat staff. And a strong country doesn’t need citizens who think a debit card makes them royalty.

Let’s kill another myth: that service jobs are “unskilled.” That’s lazy thinking. Try staying calm while someone throws a tantrum over expired coupons. Try managing long lines, rude attitudes, and tech failures all while keeping your cool. These jobs require patience, emotional intelligence, and grit — qualities this country used to admire.

And yet, nearly 75% of restaurant servers say they feel ignored. Over 60% report verbal abuse. That’s not because they lack skill. That’s because too many people think decency is optional.

Worse? This abuse is now so common it’s treated like background noise. “It’s just part of the job.” No, it’s not. That’s how we excuse bad behavior and sweep emotional damage under the rug.

And when workers speak up? They’re told to “just get a better job.” As if it’s that simple. As if the problem isn’t the disrespect — it’s that people have the nerve to talk about it. That’s not building character. That’s avoiding responsibility. Telling workers to “suck it up” while doing nothing to fix the problem isn’t tough love — it’s moral laziness.

Here’s what disrespect actually looks like:

A worn-down employee — the human cost of a culture that treats workers as disposable.

• A server crying in the walk-in freezer after being screamed at.
• A cashier swallowing insults with every beep of the scanner.
• A janitor working two jobs but still skipping meals to pay rent.

And no, this isn’t about hurt feelings. It’s about dignity. It's about how a nation treats the people who keep it running.

People say, “Stress makes people act out.” But no one uses that excuse for workers. Service employees are under just as much pressure — sometimes more — and they still show up. They deal with anxiety, fatigue, and rude customers, then go home to second jobs or unpaid bills.

This kind of abuse isn’t just “mean.” It costs us. Good people leave. Workplaces become toxic. Mental health suffers. And the system limps along, broken and ignored.

It’s time we stopped pretending basic decency is optional. And it’s time we stopped ranking human worth by paycheck. Because when we do, we give the green light to arrogance, cruelty, and collapse.

Here’s what needs to happen:

• Customers: Your money doesn’t buy the right to be disrespectful. Speak like a grown-up, not a tyrant.
• Employers: Pay people what they’re worth. Offer benefits. Stop treating workers like they’re disposable.
• Lawmakers: Pass real protections. Dignity shouldn’t depend on the size of your paycheck.
• Schools and parents: Teach kids that every job has value. That scrubbing a floor or serving a meal is just as worthy of respect as sitting in an office.

Because this isn’t just about service workers. It’s about us. About what kind of country we’re becoming.

If we keep letting arrogance, entitlement, and cruelty define how we treat those who serve, we’re not just losing our manners — we’re losing our soul.

It’s time to pick a side. Either you stand for dignity, or you stand for the decay of our values. There’s no middle ground.