Blog Post WRITING 103

When Parenting Turns Hurtful: The Hidden Toll of Parental Bullying

In homes where children should feel safest, some are instead exposed to constant criticism, humiliation, or verbal attacks—often from the very people meant to protect them. While many parents describe themselves as “strict,” there is a stark and crucial difference between setting firm boundaries and engaging in parental bullying.

Parental bullying goes beyond enforcing rules. It’s emotional abuse—often subtle, sometimes normalized, and frequently overlooked. Research shows that children exposed to this kind of treatment are at a significantly higher risk for long-term mental health challenges. In a 2013 study published in Child Abuse & Neglect, researchers Lereya, Samara, and Wolke found strong links between emotionally abusive parenting behaviors and increased rates of depression and anxiety in children. The psychological wounds caused by belittling, name-calling, or constant negative comparison don’t just disappear with time—they often deepen.

Verbal aggression from parents doesn’t always leave visible scars, but the internal damage is real. A 2014 study by Wang and Kenny in Child Development showed that adolescents who endured harsh verbal discipline from their parents were more likely to suffer from emotional distress, behavioral issues, and even suicidal thoughts. The home, which should be a source of emotional stability, becomes instead a source of pain and insecurity.

So how does this differ from strict parenting? The key lies in tone and intention. Strict parents—when guided by consistency, warmth, and support—can help children thrive. In her foundational research, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind (1966) identified authoritative parenting as a balanced approach that combines clear expectations with empathy and open communication. These parents enforce rules but also foster trust, which helps children develop confidence and emotional strength.

When parents use discipline to control rather than guide, however, the line into bullying is often crossed. Children who grow up in these environments may become withdrawn, aggressive, or anxious—carrying unresolved trauma into their teenage years and beyond. As noted in a study by Schofield et al., harsh parenting often predicts negative outcomes later in life, including poor self-esteem, troubled relationships, and increased risk of behavioral problems.