Jake Remley
April 9th 2025
Dr. Tina
Writ 101
Why The H*ll Do People Still Bully?
Across the country, bullying is getting out of hand and yeah, it’s a serious problem. But let’s get real for a second: what actually makes people act out and tear others down during middle and high school? What’s the motive behind the name-calling, the gossip, the shoulder shoves in the hallway? And how can teachers actually step in and shut it down before things get worse?
First off, let’s define it.bullying isn’t just some harmless teasing. It’s repeated, targeted harassment meant to embarrass, hurt, or isolate someone. That’s the key: it’s intentional and it happens over and over again. People bully for all kinds of reasons: unstable home life, jealousy, insecurity, social pressure, or just to flex. And yeah, even your drip can make you a target if it doesn’t fit in with the crowd.
Let’s break that down. Imagine a kid coming to school with a chaotic home life, parents always fighting, never around, or maybe super strict to the point of suffocation. That kid’s not exactly walking into class ready to learn. They’re carrying all that stress and instability with them. They might act out, lash out, or try to control something in their life and sometimes, that “something” becomes another student. If they don’t have control at home, bullying becomes a way to feel powerful, even if it’s destructive.
And let’s not forget the social angle. Middle and high school are basically mini battlefields of cliques, reputations, and constant pressure to look cool. Some kids think bullying gives them clout. They roast someone in the hallway, their friends laugh, and boom they're the center of attention. It’s messed up, but it’s the reality in a lot of schools.
Look, bullying isn’t new. But just because it’s always been around doesn’t mean we should accept it. According to the “National Center for Education Statistics, 2022”one out of every five students reports getting bullied. That’s just the reported cases. Tons more go unspoken because students are scared, ashamed, or think no one will do anything.
And yeah, I’ve been there. Back in middle school, I had this kid who made it his mission to trash me every day. “4-eyes.” “Weirdo.” “Pimple-head.” It was nonstop. He’d crack jokes, throw shade, do anything to get a rise out of me while his friends egged him on. Eventually, a teacher stepped in, gave him detention and ISS, but honestly, it felt like too little, too late. The damage was already done. That experience stuck with me.
Then you’ve got the home life factor. MSWDegrees, breaks down how kids from unstable, toxic, or super restrictive homes are way more likely to act out. Maybe there’s neglect. Maybe their parents are on them 24/7 with rules and zero breathing room. Or maybe they’re copying behavior they see from adults around them: parents yelling at waiters, older siblings constantly teasing them, whatever. Bullying can be a learned survival skill.
Teachers are a huge part of the solution. Some of my past teachers laid down the law on day one simple rules like, “If you don’t have something nice to say, keep it to yourself.” It sounds basic, but it worked. Most students respected that energy. Other teachers, though? They’d just wave off the bullying with a quick “Hey, cut it out,” and move on. That sends a message too that the behavior doesn’t really matter. That’s where the problem grows.
Schools need more than posters and once a year assemblies. They need real, honest anti-bullying programs that students can relate to. Show the real effects. Share survivor stories. Start conversations. When students feel like their school cares, they’re more likely to speak up, step in, and support each other.
Scott Lowden
Most bullies aren’t just evil villains twirling their mustaches. According to BetterHelp, a ton of them are actually battling serious insecurity. They feel powerless, out of place, or just straight-up miserable in their own lives. So they make someone else feel small. It’s like a messed-up way of trying to feel big.
And sometimes, it’s just a cry for help. The bully might act like they don’t care, might even laugh about what they did. But under that tough front, they could be hurting. That doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it explains why punishing them without addressing the root issue doesn’t always solve the problem.
One of the harshest forms of bullying is about looks. SafeguardNetworking, points out that physical bullying, hitting, kicking, destroying stuff usually goes hand-in-hand with targeting someone for how they look. If you’re not rocking the latest trend, have acne, are overweight, or just don’t match the filtered perfection people see online, you can become an easy target.
Teenagers are swimming in unrealistic beauty standards on social media. They’re constantly comparing themselves to influencers, celebrities, or even their classmates. If they don’t “measure up,” it’s not just their self-esteem that takes a hit, bullies use that difference as ammo.
That’s why schools should be pushing body positivity hard. Teach kids that everyone’s different, and that’s a good thing. Celebrate it. Open up conversations about appearance, identity, and self-worth. When students learn to respect themselves and others, bullying starts to fade.
Some people act like bullying is just part of growing up. You’ll hear stuff like, “It toughens you up,” or “Kids need to learn how to handle conflict.” And sure, learning resilience is important. But getting bullied isn’t a life lesson it’s trauma. It leaves scars that can mess with someone’s confidence, mental health, and relationships for years. Saying “bullying builds character” is just a lazy excuse to not deal with the real problem. You don’t build strength by tearing people down. You build it by lifting people up.
But here’s the thing, bullying doesn’t have to be a “rite of passage.” It doesn’t have to be part of growing up. Teachers, students, and schools can all play a part in stopping it. That means calling it out, not brushing it off. It means building classroom cultures where kindness is cool, and cruelty isn’t tolerated.
If we want school to be a place where every student can feel safe, le
arn, and actually be themselves—we have to start taking bullying seriously. Not just with words, but with real action.
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